Caring for carers: how to get the help you need

As a carer, you want to do your best to look after your loved one no matter what. However, as time goes on, there can be costs of caring for someone.

Not only can it affect your own personal finances, but caring can also take a toll on your health and happiness as well.

Here we look at some ways you can get the help you need before you get too overwhelmed.

Australia’s carers

In Australia, informal elder care is carried out overwhelmingly by women – mainly daughters and wives of the care recipient, in their peak working years of 35 to 54.

A University of South Australia study found 84.9% of working women are juggling paid work and caring for an older loved one.

According to the Carers NSW 2020 National Carer Survey, 1 in 4 carers had left a paid job in order to care, and 1 in 3 had reduced their working hours. Working less can affect your own finances and job security, which can increase your stress.

What are the signs of caregiver fatigue?

To address caregiver fatigue, you and the people in your support network must be able to recognise the warning signs:

Ignoring or putting off taking care of your own health
Feeling alone and thinking that nobody understands your situation
Worrying and feeling unsure about the future
Feeling extremely tired even after getting enough sleep
Feeling stressed and experiencing physical symptoms
Having trouble concentrating or making decisions

For example, there are often high rates of stress and psychological illness in family caregivers of people with dementia. In one study, 23.5% of Alzheimer caregivers felt anxiety and 10.5% experienced levels of depression.

A survey by Carers Australia found up to 75% of carers have reported poor sleep. When you’re not getting enough sleep, this can have a major impact on your own health and wellbeing.

When you’re a carer, you may not have time to prioritise your own health, which can have consequences for your future.

How can you get help?

When you're on a plane, they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. The same applies to caregivers.

It's important to prioritise your own physical, medical, and emotional needs alongside the person you're caring for.

By recognising your feelings and being honest about your needs, you can prevent excessive stress, caregiver burnout, and depression.

Here are some tips:

Speak up

If you’re feeling isolated, seek others in similar situations. Carers Gateway has an online forum as well as community groups.

Make sure people in your life know what is going on and let them know if they can help. They may not realise how you’re feeling.

Arrange a meeting with important family members and friends to have an open discussion about your situation and the person you're caring for.

If distance is a challenge, use video conferencing to hold family meetings at convenient times. It's crucial for you to express your feelings, and for your loved ones to understand your perspective.

Accept help

When you’re not getting enough help, it can make you feel resentful, which can lead to stress and burnout. Make a list of the tasks you think could help you provide better support for your loved one. For example, you could ask a family member or friend to give you a break on alternative Tuesdays.

Even simple tasks like picking up medications or groceries can make a big difference. Have the list ready for when someone asks how they can help.

There are also organisations that can provide help. Some of these organisations include:

Manage your stress

Have a think about what triggers your stress and find some ways to control your emotions. You might need to go for a walk or take some deep breaths when stress builds up.

If you can't avoid stress triggers, develop reliable strategies to reduce and manage stress. Make a checklist of coping skills that work for you like calling a friend, watching your favourite TV show, or exercising.

Add as many tools as you need and keep the list handy for whenever tension arises.

Get professional help

Don't be ashamed to reach out for professional assistance or counselling. A social worker, psychologist, or psychiatrist can help you understand the causes of your distress and provide constructive ways to cope.

Get some extra financial help

Depending on your circumstances, you may be eligible for different payments to help you out. These payments include:

Carer Payment – this is an income support payment if you give constant care to someone with a disability, severe medical condition or an older adult who is frail.
Carer Allowance – this fortnightly supplement is if you give additional daily care to someone with a disability, severe medical condition or an older adult who is frail. You may be eligible to get both.

Depending on what state you live in, there are other care support services and carer payments available which may help with things such as transport, rebates for services and other concessions.

It’s important not to take on the entire caring load yourself. Ask for help when you can and make sure you look after yourself, too.